Betrayed
by DecloLove
Summary: After Merlin reveals his magic accidentally to save Arthur's life, Arthur doesn't take it very well and hands Merlin over to the first bandits they come across. What happens to Merlin when he refuses to comply to the bandits? Will Arthur forgive him? Based off of an author prompt from AngryPurpleFire. Major Merlin Whump! *magic reveal*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**!WARNING! This is a dark fic. Much darker than I have ever written. I was feeling really low and wrote this and it kinda showed. (END WARNING)**

**This is based off a prompt from AngryPurpleFire, who has a few author prompts. **

**This story probably won't be more than a oneshot, mostly because I am so busy and should be studying. So I hope you enjoy this story.**

* * *

Arthur watched Merlin's limp form bounce on the horse's back, bound hands swinging slightly. Magic, Merlin had magic. Arthur wasn't sure what to think; Merlin had saved his life from the avalanche by creating a shimmering shield that protected both of them, but the idiot took the shield down too early and a final rock had knocked him unconscious.

Arthur glanced up the road; he could see two men waiting. Bandits most likely who would try to claim that the road was tolled, as if the prince of the kingdom wouldn't know.

"Clear off. This is your only warning, if I find you robbing the people here I'll return with the Knights of the realm."

"Oh, he thinks he is all high and mighty. Who do you think you are, the prince?"

Arthur dismounted, wanting to be on level ground if he had to fight the two, "I _am_ the prince."

"Perfect." The man let out a loud whistle and Arthur could hear more men coming out of the woods, he knew without looking that he was surrounded. He gripped his sword tightly but the skirmish was over before it started. He succeeded in injuring at least the first two, but was quickly overpowered.

"And what have we here?" One of the men pulled Merlin off his horse and Arthur tamped down on the urge to demand Merlin's release, he wouldn't ask for the release of a sorcerer.

"A sorcerer." Arthur spat out, "A man who for years acted as my servant."

"Well it sounds like we should have a talk with him." The man nodded at the bandit holding Arthur and he slumped forward as they slammed the hilt of their sword into his temple.

* * *

Merlin woke slowly to the murmur of voices that only got louder as the speakers realized he was awake. He scrambled for what had happened last, and only remembered rocks falling towards Arthur and instinctively reached for his magic—only to find it wasn't there. That brought him awake in an instant, jerking his limbs as he realized they were weighted with shackles.

"Hey, easy boy. We don't want you to hurt yourself." Panicked Merlin looked at the lean man who stood in front of him, calming slightly at the easy voice and almost kind looks of the man. He had brown hair that fell in easy waves that managed to mostly cover a vivid cut on the man's cheek. "We found you unconscious on the back of a horse, the Prince said you had magic and we figured you wouldn't care if we helped you escape death."

Merlin searched his memory trying to understand when he had been knocked unconscious, he remembered stopping the rock-fall, surrounding him and…Arthur. Oh no, Arthur knew about his magic. Was it Arthur that had knocked him out? No. He scoured his memory until he found it, a loose rock had fallen after he pulled the shield down.

"Who are you?" Merlin's voice was slightly croaky from its disuse, but he forged on regardless. "What do you want with me?"

"My name is Caiseal, I'm the leader of the group here. We were lucky enough to find the Prince out today, I think we'll keep him here for a few days, maybe weeks, before we send him back to Uther; in exchange for a hefty price of course. And for you? We have a place for you, if you would care to join us." Caiseal looked eager, hoping Merlin would accept the position; but he would never do that, especially not with his prince a prisoner. "I am sorry about the chains, we had to make sure you didn't accidently use magic while you were out. I can take them off if you'd like." There was an unspoken threat to the offer _and I'll leave them on if you don't join_, and Merlin heard it loud and clear.

"I'll never work for you. Take them off and I will destroy you for taking my Prince. I will defend him to my last breath." Merlin managed to spit at Caiseal, who growled and in that instant Merlin knew exactly how the easy looking man could work as a bandit.

Caiseal was fierce and there was a kind of maniac gleam in his green eyes as he answered the warlock. "I guess I'll be needing to show you the best hospitality then?" He whistled and two more men came in the room, both larger than Percival and covered in numerous scars that proved they knew how to handle themselves in a fight.

Merlin tried his hardest to fight back as they attacked, but he knew it was pointless—without his magic he was worthless. He was skinny to their brawny, tall and lanky to their brute strength.

He knew he must have blacked out at one point from their onslaught because he was in a new room.

A room, _ha_ it was little more than a cell. Arthur was nearby though, Merlin could hear him demanding something in a loud voice. With a little effort Merlin managed to bring back his hearing.

"This is your plan? Lock me in a cell with a _sorcerer?_" Merlin flinched at the scorn and hate that was infused in the words. He had hoped that Arthur felt they were friends and that Merlin would have a chance to explain his magic and why it remained a secret between them.

Merlin struggled to sit up, he could see the chains that were attached to his shackles led to the wall. He couldn't tell if his lack of strength was from the beating he just received or if it was a sign of something worse. When he put his weight on his left arm to push himself up against the wall, it collapsed and Merlin knew. _A warlock restrained by the shackles or collar will find that first they will lose the ability to perform Magic. A warlock will be affected in a manner that is different from other sorcerers in that if worn for an extended period physical strength will be depleted… _Merlin stopped the thought there and for the first time regretted having memorized his magic book. He let himself slump back to the ground, hissing slightly as he jostled the chains against a cut.

"Don't worry Arthur." He spoke quietly, a little breathless as he realized at least one of his ribs was cracked (how had he not noticed before?), "I can't do anything. Somehow they knew that I was a sorcerer and so they locked my magic up nice and tight."

There was no answer from the opposite side of the cell so he kept going.

"They wanted me to work for them, said they would take off the shackles. But I said no." Merlin turned his head to stare at Arthur, he was sitting with his back to him only restrained with a single long chain to the wall. But he seemed unhurt, from the back anyways. "Do you want to know why?"

"Silence, _sorcerer._" Ah, there was the prat prince Merlin was expecting. He pretended he hadn't heard and continued.

"I promised myself to always protect my friends, and the one person I consider my best friend is sitting in a cell with me. I could never use my magic for evil, not when it was meant for you…only for you." Merlin could see the tension building up in Arthur's shoulders and let the matter drop. He had given enough of his story to Arthur to think about. Merlin drifted off to an uneasy sleep, feeling an ache deep in his body that was his missing magic, and the lighter sting of the many new bruises and cuts.

* * *

Arthur listened as Merlin's breathing evened out, only broken by the occasional hitch, that meant a broken or cracked rib. He didn't want to see his servant-friend-sorcerer and so he kept his back towards him and instead watched the sky darken in the slit that was his window. Was it only that morning he had left with Merlin to go hunting? They had ridden out farther than usual to the cliffs and…Merlin was a sorcerer. No matter what Arthur did, his thoughts kept circling back to that same conclusion. Was he an idiot for coming to Camelot with magic? Or did Merlin learn it after he became Arthur's manservant? Did Merlin really mean it when he said he only used it to help Arthur?

It was very late when he finally gathered the courage to turn around and actually look at his one-time friend. When Arthur did he wished he hadn't, he swore under his breath, it was terrible. A bruise was spreading across his cheek, and a cut adorned the opposite. There were slices in his clothes and Arthur could see more bruises under the fabric, and he was certain there were hand-prints under the neckerchief. But the worst part was how pale his servant looked. The man was always unusually light skinned, but this was a sick kind of pale.

Arthur's eyes skimmed over his manservant searching for any more injuries, and they stopped on the shackles attached to his wrists and ankles. Merlin hadn't even sounded angry when he talked about how his magic was taken, even though he probably knew Arthur had told the bandits. That Arthur had handed him right over to be stripped of his power.

Because Merlin had magic, and that brought Arthur back to the same thought that had bothered him all day. He put his back to the man and let sleep take him.

"No, I won't let you."

"Oh, you think you are in a position to bargain boy?"

The first voice was Merlin's and the answering one Arthur recognized from the woods as the man who had been so interested in Merlin.

Arthur moved to stand only to find Merlin standing over him, for a brief moment it seemed to Arthur that Merlin had gotten his magic back and was going to kill him. Then he realized Merlin was protecting him, stopping the bandits from closing in.

"I will protect him." Merlin's voice didn't waver, but Arthur could see that Merlin was trembling ever so slightly; Arthur worried for the man before he remembered that magic was evil.

"You were his servant, why would you want to protect him with your forbidden magic?" The leader of the bandits stood with three men behind him, facing off Merlin and Arthur wondered why they didn't just storm him—Merlin had no power and was by no means strong. He stood slowly, doing his best to not rattle the chain around his leg.

"I don't need protection from a sorcerer!" Arthur filled his voice with all the scorn he could, all the hate he had always felt for the works of magic, for all the evil in the world. And then he shoved Merlin to the hands of the other men.

The leader laughed as Merlin fought back, his movements slow and clumsy—hampered by the chains and the injuries from the day before.

"Thank you, your highness. My name is Caiseal, this here is my crew." He gestured to his men, who now held Merlin down; one man with a boot to his chest while another pulled up the neckerchief and stuffed it in as a gag. "We've sent off a ransom, warned your father to not send any knights. But until he pays the price, you are with us." Caiseal's grin was feral but Arthur held his ground. "We'll start with your servant."

As the man left Arthur couldn't help but get the last word in, "Be my guest, I've no need for him."

Arthur could feel Merlin's gaze, and when he glanced at Merlin the other man looked utterly and completely betrayed. Arthur felt guilty until he remembered how many times Merlin had probably lied to him, how many times Merlin had betrayed _him,_ he refused to feel guilty about a sorcerer.

* * *

Merlin didn't have far to walk, and he was grateful for that. His show of defiance and protecting Arthur had sapped what meager strength he had managed to gather. Merlin stumbled again and was pushed harshly down onto the chair, his arms pulled behind his back and secured while his legs were tied to the chair; he didn't try to resist. Merlin had just enough strength to pull his head up and glare at Caiseal, he wasn't going to waste it on fighting the inevitable.

Caiseal and one of his many followers came in the room right after, they set a bucket on stone floor and Merlin focused on that. He felt a growing sense of unease when he realized it held glowing coals and metal rods.

"We thought you would be more comfortable in here. Now we have a few questions for you." Caiseal said cheerfully.

They wasted no time after that. Merlin knew they were asking questions but he learned much more than they did. Merlin learned that when he was cheeky it earned him anything from a slap to a cut from the knife. One answer that had included an insult to one of their mothers had resulted in a spectacularly swollen eye. Merlin learned that when they thought he was answering wrong or lying out right, it earned him a brand anywhere, but they seemed to favor his arms and legs.

Merlin coughed harshly trying to get the smoke from his burnt skin and clothes out of his airway; the cracked rib was probably broken. Merlin's sight was mostly gone by now and he didn't want to think of why, his swollen eye was part of the problem but the main reason…._ If worn for an extended period physical strength will be depleted…typically followed by loss of either sight or hearing._ Merlin pushed the thought back he didn't know what to hope for, that the loss of sight was from his injuries or from his lack of magic, neither one was a good option.

"Take him back." Caiseal's voice came as if underwater and Merlin wondered when his hearing had gone funny. He knew he couldn't see right but his hearing had been fine just a few minutes ago, Caiseal had asked him about the patrol routes and he had told the man to go watch them himself.

Merlin could barely register the men gripping his arms as they pulled him down the few doors to the cell. He was curious why they actually chained him up again; he couldn't feel his magic, he had no strength, he could see little to nothing, his hearing was underwater, and he had just been tortured.

"Merlin?!" Was that concern from the prince?

Merlin blamed his underwater ears; there was no way Arthur would sound like he cared. Arthur had betrayed Merlin, pushed him into danger. Because Merlin was a sorcerer.

"No, Merlin. I shouldn't have done that this morning." Merlin realized he must have spoken out loud, did that mean Arthur knew he was underwater? Maybe Arthur would have done something else, would he have hurt Merlin himself?

"I'm not evil. Try to always do good. Going to be hard though." Merlin tried to find some reserve of strength to turn his head and look at Arthur, but he had used the last of it when he had thrashed around from the last burn on his neck. He whimpered slightly, that one had hurt.

"Can I see you? Come here, I can't see you!" Merlin was aware his voice was raising, it hurt to raise his voice.

"Merlin!" The voice was even farther away like someone was standing at the far end of the castle and yelling his name.

"I can't hear you. I can't see!" Merlin realized that the last of his sight was gone, but why was his hearing going? The book said _EITHER sight or hearing_ maybe it was how powerful you were, he was Emrys.

"Arthur." It was a plea, which Arthur would respond to in kindness, the last hope that he would get his friend back. But before Merlin could form the 'r' he could no longer hear his own voice and he knew it was too late.

Merlin wondered if his tears were as silent to Arthur as they were to him.

* * *

Arthur felt horrible after he pushed Merlin to the bandits. It had felt like the right thing to do, for about ten seconds and then he knew it was wrong. He had never enjoyed the killing that his father seemed to revel in. If a person's guilt was proven he would execute without question, but he needed proof. And he had never seen proof of Merlin being evil, it was always good and only good. The never ending loyalty, the underserved kindness at the beginning, the constant friendship no matter how much of a prat he was being.

So when Merlin was brought back hours later, Arthur could feel his guilt clawing at him. His manservant, _his friend_, was burned all over his arms and legs. The men that dragged him in threw him down and roughly chained him. It was the natural instinct to protect that had him call out.

"Merlin?!"

The response was so quiet Arthur was forced to come closer to the injured man, and what he heard only increased the guilt.

"My ears are underwater that is why Arthur would sound like he cared. Arthur betrayed me, pushed me into danger. Because I am a sorcerer." The words trailed off at the end and Arthur wondered how much longer the man would hold on.

"No, Merlin. I shouldn't have done that this morning." Arthur tried to apologize and make things right, but Merlin kept talking. If they were in a different place, a different time Arthur would give him a playful smack and tell him to stop interrupting.

"I'm not evil. Try to always do good. Going to be hard though." Merlin was whispering, but Arthur could hear each word like a bell, it echoed and rang in his head. He started to ask why it was going to be hard to be good when Merlin spoke again.

"Can I see you? Come here, I can't see you!" Merlin's voice was rising, and it sounded so hoarse. Arthur knew why, he had heard the screams and yells from the cell. He knew it was all his fault, telling the bandits about Merlin's magic and then being fool enough to ignore his friend.

"Merlin!" Arthur called out and stretched out a hand, but was afraid of where to set it, worried about harming his friend further.

"I can't hear you. I can't see!" Merlin was still talking, his voice breaking. After his terrible declaration of his loss of sight Arthur had no idea how to react. How to give comfort to one who he had betrayed so utterly?

Arthur swallowed hard and reached out a hand to rest it on the most unmarked patch of skin he could find.

"Arthur." His name was spoken so quietly and with such desperation, Arthur knew it was a final plea. It was only confirmed as Merlin began to cry, sobbing and heaving and yet not moving from where he was thrown when he was brought in.

Arthur set his shoulders, he had done this to Merlin. He may not have set the poker to the man's skin himself or thrown the punches, but he had handed over his friend without a second thought. He gently pulled his friend into a sitting position and held him when it became clear that Merlin had no strength. Arthur felt a rush of fury, that for the first time since he was captured was not directed at Merlin but rather at their captors. What had they done that had robbed Merlin of his strength, sight, and hearing?

"Arthur?" Merlin's cries broke off, but his breathing still hitched in a choked off sob every few breaths. Arthur nodded his head, and Merlin sobbed again, slowly moving his hand to clutch weakly at Arthur's.

"It's okay Merlin. You'll be okay, we'll get out of here. I'll take you to Gaius and even give you a day off. I'm so sorry Merlin." Arthur knew it was useless to say anything but he did none the less.

They sat together for a long time, Arthur mumbling pointless phrases and Merlin drifting in and out of sleep.

The knights arrived by nightfall and the bandits had no chance against their anger. They fought to free their prince.

Arthur held tightly to Merlin, they were getting out. Merlin can be taken back to Camelot and Gaius can fix him. Arthur could only hope that Merlin would heal and maybe one day forgive him.

* * *

**So I hope everyone enjoyed that. It is my first Dark fic and I know it wasn't really bad (but I'm okay with that). Let me know what you think and have a good day, hopefully better than Merlin's was!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N. So I was informed that my ending was cruel. And due to several reviews and several IRL friends I wrote this "closure". This was written in several fits and starts-so hopefully it flows fairly well. I may one day come back and fix it. **

**Hopefully the jumps in POV don't mess with the story line. :D**

**Anyways thanks to all my readers and yada-yada. **

* * *

The cell was empty and Arthur rushed to the door only to be stopped by a chain on his leg. He could have sworn it hadn't been there before. Arthur turned back to pull at the chain and he saw movement in the corner of his eye.

It was Merlin. Huddled in the corner Arthur could hear him mumbling softly to himself.

"It's all gone. Gone. Gone. Gone."

"Merlin!" Arthur called out but there was no reaction from the other man. He reached out to grasp Merlin's arm and the man flinched and jerked back violently.

"No….no…Please." Merlin protested and refused to look right at Arthur.

Arthur grabbed Merlin's shoulders and shook him slightly, "Merlin, it's me. Arthur."

Panicked, Merlin tried to push Arthur away and when it proved futile, his eyes glowed gold.

_And then Arthur woke up._

Arthur watched the moonlight play over his city. He and Merlin had been back for a week and Arthur had yet to sleep through the night without a nightmare. It never was the same; some nights it was Arthur himself who hurt Merlin, other nights Merlin saved his life with magic and then was gravely injured, Arthur going on a rescue and finding Merlin unable to recognize him. A few things were constant, Merlin having magic and Merlin getting injured. Then Arthur waking up with conflicting emotions; hate for a sorcerer, worry for a friend, and guilt — overwhelming guilt. Because Arthur knew what had really happened.

The sun was rising and Arthur realized he had spent the better part of the night awake. He sighed, just like every night.

* * *

Merlin knew he was awake before dawn, but he wasn't sure how he knew. It was still dark and he couldn't hear anything. But he could feel his magic. He reveled in the feeling, the power that was slowly trickling back and growing. He lay there thinking about the week…at least he thought it had been a week. He didn't remember much after he had, finally…devastatingly lost his sight and hearing. The first clear memory he had was an old frail hand cupping his cheek. When he had asked if it was Gaius, Merlin's hand had been lifted up to feel Gaius nod his head. He knew he had cried again.

He spent several days drifting in and out of the waking world. Helped by Gaius's potions when the memories became too much.

It had been really bad when the knights had come to visit at first. He didn't know who was approaching or that they even were approaching. And so when a heavy and callused hand had gripped Merlin's arm for the first time since he had woken fully, it caused panic. Merlin screamed without hearing his own voice and pushed away, scrambling away from the warm body. Begging for them to just let him be. They had held him down, he didn't know who and he didn't care, all Merlin knew was he was back in that room unable to stop these men as they did what they wanted. They forced him to swallow a potion, clamping a hand over his mouth and nose to force him to swallow or suffocate. Merlin fell asleep after that.

Now when someone came to visit him Gaius would gently take his hand and place it in the visitor's. He learned to tell who it was by the feel of their face, after a few visits he knew just by the feel of their hand. Gwaine's long hair and Percival's huge hand that dwarfed his own, Gwen's dainty hand, Leon's beard, and Elyan always smelled like the forge-so Merlin didn't need to feel him. Merlin would say their name and when he received confirmation he was right they would sit together for a while. He didn't know if Arthur ever came, and if he did Merlin never had his hand guided to him.

Gwaine came nearly every day that Merlin was awake. Merlin truly enjoyed those visits, he knew Gwaine spoke to him the entire time. Gwaine had taken Merlin's hands and placed them on his own chest, letting Merlin feel the rumble of his voice as he spoke. Merlin imagined Gwaine was telling him tavern stories and it made the day easier.

It was Gwen who had helped with the biggest break-through. She had come in, on what Merlin thought was the fourth day. She was sitting with him as he lay in the bed just holding his hand and idly drawing patterns on it.

"Gwen, can you write?" Merlin asked suddenly, he missed hearing his own voice and so kept quiet, not knowing if it was too loud or soft. He felt the nod of her head.

"Write something on my hand?" Merlin asked, and felt her flip his hand over and Gwen began tracing the shapes of letters in his palm.

It took some experimenting, they found it worked best if they used Merlin's right finger to trace on his left hand. It quickly became obvious that capitals were better than smaller letters and Merlin really could follow nearly an entire sentence, if it was traced slowly enough. It made the next days go smoother. Percival would write single words, something he was thinking about or saw on his way to the room. Gwen chattered just as much and soon she was sending messages rapidly across his palm. Gwaine was ecstatic about the idea, if the smile he let Merlin feel meant anything, but he hardly used it—sticking to his hand-on-chest method. When Merlin asked why Gwaine had written one word, _LAZY_.

Now it has been seven days and Merlin has yet to talk to Arthur. He grimaces and sits up, its time he spoke to his king.

* * *

There was a sharp knock on the door and it was opened before Arthur had the chance to give permission to enter. Arthur attempts to smile at his longtime friend but it falls flat when he sees the serious expression on Leon's face.

"Sire, I feel as though I should..." Leon stops suddenly and Arthur watches as Leon seems to struggle with himself and finally comes to a conclusion. "The shackles that Merlin was wearing, did you recognize them?"

Arthur stiffens, of course Leon would recognize the shackles, and the man had grown up in Camelot and knew of the sorcerers executions and why someone would need _those _shackles. "Yes, I recognized them. They restrain a person's magic."

Arthur ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know what to do, Leon. Merlin has magic. I watched him save me from a rock-fall. Then the idiot got hit by a loose stone and was knocked unconscious, we were on our way back to Camelot when the bandits attacked. And I just handed Merlin over to them Leon."

Arthur tugged at his hair, breathing hard. "I handed him over and watched him fade. I knew something was wrong but I did nothing. I should have stopped them. Instead I just pushed him away." Arthur knew something was wrong he should be yelling, instead he just sounded tired so very, very tired.

"Who else knows?"

"Gwen probably suspects. Gaius most definitely, and I think that is all." Leon's voice was quieter, "I know you are trying to decide what to do sire. But before you make a decision, talk to Merlin. He's been asking for you."

Arthur stared out the window waiting for Leon to leave, when it became clear he was still there Arthur turned back.

"Was there something else?" Arthur knew his tone was sharp, he just wanted things to go back to how they were, before he knew about Merlin's magic or his friend was hurt.

"I know it isn't my place to say, but I trust Merlin, magic or not. And right now Merlin is hurt and is your friend, not a sorcerer." Leon bowed and left, leaving Arthur alone with thoughts he would rather not face.

* * *

"I miss the sun." Arthur stopped outside the physician's chambers, Merlin's voice was loud and oddly flat—lacking his usual enthusiasm. "Can you help me outside, Percival?"

"Will that be alright Gaius?" Arthur hesitated wanting to see his friend but not wanting to interrupt.

"He's healing well, it shouldn't be a problem. Just bring him back when he gets tired." Gaius answered.

Arthur decided that it wasn't right for the prince to hover in the halls and to get in the room.

"Arthur." Percival looked up from where he was helping Merlin to stand, Merlin's hand resting on his own. "We're just about to go outside, care to join us?"

"I think I will, just don't tell Merlin I'm here." Arthur ignored Gaius's obvious disapproval of his avoidance and Percival's frown. It wasn't the first time Arthur had been a silent participant in Merlin's life the past week.

Arthur followed the two men out, Merlin's slow and careful movements so at odds to his usual hurried and clumsy gait.

Percival settled Merlin on the hill just outside the castle wall and settled Merlin's hand on his own.

"Do you always keep hold of him?" Arthur couldn't help but ask. He had noticed on his prior visits that someone was always touching Merlin, even it was as simple as a hand on his leg.

"Yes, he doesn't know if we are here otherwise. It's been hard for him, but Merlin never lets anything bring him down for too long." Percival looked off into the distance and they fell into an uneasy silence.

Merlin looked happier than before, with his face turned toward the sun.

"What happened?" Percival asks suddenly, and before Arthur could ask what he meant, Percival raised a hand. "I don't mean about physically, I can see he was treated brutally. What happened between you two? Before you wouldn't have thought twice about sitting with him, because you're friends; and now you hardly can stand to be in the same room as him."

"Merlin's not the man I thought he was." Arthur looked away from Percival's accusing look.

"I thought you were a better man than that, Arthur! Did he say something while being tortured? Can you blame him if he did?" Arthur wasn't sure how to feel about Percival's frank bluntness, it was both a relief and unwanted at the same time.

"He didn't tell them anything. It is something Merlin said to me alone." Arthur was standing now, and he wondered when he did that.

"Well, I hope you let him tell you everything before you decided it would be best to ignore him." Arthur stormed off at that. Arthur was not willing to admit that, no, he hadn't listened or waited for an explanation. He only knew Merlin was a sorcerer and he couldn't help but feel guilty and he felt so confused.

* * *

When Merlin woke it was still dark, but that wasn't what got his attention—he didn't know who was holding him.

Somewhere in his mind Merlin knew he was safe. But his magic, so long absent rushed to his aid and Merlin fought the hands holding him. Distantly he realized he was begging and then Gaius was there, he drank the potion greedily and slept.

For a brief second when Merlin woke he thought it was lighter, he turned his head and it seemed he could see the flicker of the candle. Merlin put it down to his imagination and called for Gaius. His mentor was there almost instantly.

"Who was that earlier?" Merlin waited for the answer and could tell Gaius was hesitating. "Please tell me, I…I think I attacked them with my magic."

Gaius guided his hands to spell: _ART-_ and Merlin knew who it was before he finished.

Arthur, he attacked Arthur.

"Was he hurt?" Merlin needed to know.

_NO_, Merlin breathed easier and turned away from Gaius, tugging his hands away-his new way of announcing he didn't want to talk.

He attacked Arthur, when he had promised he wouldn't. When he promised he only used it for good.

Maybe he really was a monster.

* * *

Merlin was sure he could see the candle that Gwen held. Quietly-well he hoped it was quiet, asked her to move the candle. He felt her jump slightly—maybe he hadn't been as quiet as he thought, and then her arm moved. He could see the flicker move around. Then Gwen was writing into his hand, _WAIT_. And then Gaius was there, moving his head and gently touching at his eyes. Merlin tracked the flicker of light as it got closer and then moved from left to right.

_WHAT DO YOU SEE_

"Flickers, a flicker of light in the dark. It isn't strong but it's there. Does this mean I'm getting better Gaius?"

_WE CAN HOPE_

So they hoped. As the second week went by Merlin could see more and more. It started with light, then vague objects. Everyone was so excited and often stopped by to help him move around as he saw more. Everyone but Arthur, he hadn't been back since Merlin had attacked him with magic.

Merlin felt himself retreating into himself, as he became more independent in his movements. Trying to separate himself from those he would hurt. His magic was dangerous, Arthur was right-Uther was right. He was a monster.

Nothing Gaius wrote to him, both on his hand or on parchment could convince him otherwise. Merlin was a danger and as soon as his hearing was back, if his hearing came back, he would leave. Let his friends live their lives safe from him, show Arthur that he wouldn't hurt him.

* * *

Arthur was sure he would never forget Merlin's face, the panic that had crossed his features and fear in his eyes when he woke up—just before they turned gold. It was like Arthur's nightmares had come to life, Merlin not recognizing him and then Merlin's magic reacting. Merlin had attacked him with magic, nothing major, it had just shoved him back. And after Gaius had taken care of Merlin, he had explained the reaction, and the fear that fueled it. The nightmares of being back in the room and unable to get out.

He decided he would avoid Merlin. Merlin would be safe if Arthur stayed away. At least until he figured out what he was feeling and how he would deal with Merlin. He didn't deserve the loyalty and friendship that Merlin had offered, and seemed to be still offering. Not after he had played such a big part in making Merlin the way he was now.

* * *

Gwen took him walking one morning. Merlin's sight was nearly back, faces were still blurry but he could get around. He let Gwen guide him and soon he realized they were nearing the training field.

"No, Gwen. I don't want to see him." Arthur had yet to come visit him as his sight returned, not even to ask about his magic.

_THEN DON'T LOOK AT HIM, WATCH YOUR FRIENDS_

Merlin huffed, "Fine." Merlin might have protested seeing Arthur but he couldn't help but watch him train. Arthur was training one of the newer knights, actually it no longer looked like training; more like a beating. Merlin watched as Gwaine loped over and spoke to the pair, clapped a hand on the newer knights back before squaring off against Arthur.

Merlin watched them spar, neither one was pulling their blows. The fight ended in a draw and the two began walking over.

_ARTHUR'S UPSET AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY_ Gwen spelled out. Merlin grimaced, he knew why.

Arthur was talking and Gwen was writing some of what he said down on the scrap of parchment she had.

"Good to see you getting better, Merlin. Someone is needed to clean my chambers." Merlin gave a tight smile and nodded, "Of course, sire." Arthur clapped him on the back and turned back to train. As Merlin and Gwen left, Merlin thought he could hear the sound of swords clanging together.

* * *

Arthur attacked the training dummy. He poured his anger into his attacks. Arthur had spent three weeks thinking about Merlin. Merlin with magic. Arthur was starting to remember countless battles where Merlin would disappear, along with the threat. Magic had saved Arthur in the cave long ago, magic wasn't evil. Not when Merlin had it.

Right side. _Magic is evil._

Left side. _Magic saved you._

Shield. _He betrayed you._

Head._ You betrayed him._

That's what it came down to, not the magic—Arthur could see it was good and had been thinking that way for years. What bothered Arthur most was the lies. How long had Merlin been hiding in plain sight? Why should Arthur not find out until his life was danger? Why had Merlin come to Camelot in the first place? Had he come to kill Arthur and then changed his mind?

Arthur finally stopped swinging, the practice dummy in tatters. It had helped get the anger out of his system. Arthur glanced around, surprised to see the sun had set already. He needed to talk to Merlin but it was too late now.

* * *

Merlin doesn't look scared. Not even when he is tied to the stake.

Merlin doesn't look scared as Arthur approaches with the torch.

Merlin doesn't look scared as Arthur pronounces him guilty of sorcery. Merlin isn't scared but Arthur is. Arthur tries to stop his hand, tries to stop the flames as they light the pyre.

"Only for you Arthur, I used it only for you." Merlin speaks as the wood catches fire.

Merlin doesn't even look scared as he screams.

_Arthur wakes up crying._

The nightmares are getting worse. More personal and Arthur knows he has to speak with Merlin. Arthur gets up; there is no point in lying in bed when he knows he won't be able to sleep again.

Arthur looks out into the courtyard. Hoping to distract himself from the dark thoughts, he watches the courtyard and a movement by the stables catches his eye. Someone is preparing a horse, the moon reappears and the light revealed the person.

Black hair and red neckerchief. _Merlin._

Arthur rushed out of his room, ignoring the guards he passed on the way.

"Merlin!" Arthur was surprised when Merlin turned around, then he remembered Gwen had mentioned Merlin's hearing was improving.

"Arthur?" Merlin looked confused, stopping in the middle of fixing a strap on the saddle. "What are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Arthur stopped several paces away from Merlin, hoping that Merlin wouldn't be frightened off.

Merlin seemed oddly closed off as he viewed the distance between them. "I'm leaving."

"What?! Why?" Merlin had just gotten better, his sight was almost completely back and his hearing was coming back.

"I'm not welcome here anymore." Merlin turned back to the horse.

"What?" Arthur thought quickly—who would have told Merlin that? "Who said that?"

"You did, sire." Arthur recoiled from Merlin's cold tone. "Maybe not exactly in those words but I got the message."

"Merlin…" Arthur whispered. How had his plan to talk to Merlin gone so wrong and so quickly?

"Don't sire. Since we've returned you have avoided me." Merlin gestured to the distance between them, and suddenly Arthur understood how that could be taken as disgust rather than a comfort. "And I seem to remember something you said before I lost my hearing," Merlin's voice was mocking as he imitated Arthur's angry snarl, "' I don't need protection from a sorcerer!' And then you pushed me away. So I'm leaving before you decide I'm well enough to banish or evil enough to burn."

Arthur can't find anything coherent enough to say, but it doesn't matter because Merlin is still talking. Arthur watches as Merlin's eyes flash gold as his voice got louder.

"I've always protected you with my life. And I have always stood by your side. Then the one time I needed you to be by my side, what did you do? You handed me over on a silver platter. I had hoped that the day you found out about me and who-I am you would be willing to listen. I guess I was wrong."

Arthur watches as sparks seem to fly off Merlin's hands. Merlin sees Arthur's glance and visibly calms down, his hands clenching into fists and the sparks die off.

"Merlin, I'm not going to kill you." Arthur takes a step forward, but at his statement Merlin seemed to tense up.

With a terse nod he turns back to the horse. "Banishment then. I'll be leaving then, sire."

"No, Merlin. I meant I want you to stay. I…" Arthur swallowed hard, it had taken him three weeks to realize it for himself but he needed Merlin around. With or without magic. "I don't care about the magic. I made a mistake and I want to say I'm sorry. I thought you would hate me and so I have been avoiding you. I see I was right. I don't want you to leave Camelot, but if you stay you don't have to remain my manservant. But, please say you will stay?"

* * *

Merlin refused to turn around. He had made his decision. He would leave Camelot to protect Arthur. Merlin knew that it was counter-productive, he needed to be in Camelot to do that best.

He took a deep breath, Arthur was still waiting for an answer. Merlin knew he was broken, that the easy trust between them had been shattered when his magic had been revealed and then it had been further crushed when Arthur had handed him over to the bandits. But now they had no secrets between them.

Maybe it could work. Merlin would still have a lot of healing to do both inside and outside but he could do it with Arthur. With his destiny.

"Alright." Merlin spoke quietly, well it sounded quiet—his hearing still wasn't all back yet. "But understand it will take a long time to get back to a version of normal." Merlin turned back to look at Arthur.

"I understand, we both hurt each other. I am very sorry Merlin. Do you think you can ever forgive me?" Arthur looked so broken, and Merlin knew how hard it was for his prince to say those words. To beat back his pride and ask for forgiveness.

"Of course, Arthur. Can you forgive me? For lying about being magic and saving you with it?" Merlin watched the ground not daring to look at Arthur.

"Saving me? You?" But there was no heat to Arthur's words, and Merlin recognized it as an attempt to establish the old banter.

"Oh you'd be surprised, _sire_, at what I've done for you." Merlin could feel himself healing, Arthur didn't hate him. Arthur didn't care about the magic. Merlin felt almost giddy he was so happy.

"I doubt that. Now put that horse away and get to bed. I'll give you a few more days off, but you can't expect me to deal with George for much longer." Arthur was smiling and Merlin knew he was just as happy about the night.

"Of course. Right away." Merlin grinned at his prince, his future king.

Things were getting better and really there was no way for things to get worse. Merlin could hear, he could see, Arthur knew about his magic, and didn't hate him for it.

"Oh and Merlin?" Merlin turned back, Arthur was watching him with a strange expression on his face. "When I'm king, I'm going to repeal the ban on magic."

Oh yes, things could only get better.

* * *

**A/N Alright, Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think :D Oh, and this is it. No more in this fic. I hadn't planned on this chapter and I am not planning on anymore. Sorry. **


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